Čaks Noriss labi ruupējas par dīvianīšiem
Taču tos, kas netic tam - gaida mokpilna un parasta dzīve.



Un, ja neesi pamanījis, tad viss topic te ir pavisam citam tēmā. Šādus jautājumus tu vari uzdot jebkuram postam te. Visa dzīve nav tikai kaut kāda nozēlojama Anime vien!
Ej labāk nopērc kādu suvenīru netā, atbalstot savu ticību... Un piepildi savu dzīves un eksistences misiju

C'mon, Čaks nerūpējās nepavienu. Mēs vnk viņam pielabināmies lai izdzīvotu.

Heh...par reliģijām vienmēr izvēršas plašas diskusijas. Esmu atejiste, jo pagaidām man neviena reliģija nav likusies pārliecinoša. Cilvēku ļaunu padara apstākļi nevis Sātans, tāpat Dievs mums dod mierinājumu, jo katram vajag kādu uz ko no sirds paļauties un kam izstāsīt savas bēdas. Elles eksistenci es vēl varētu pieņemt, bet paradīzi man ir grūti iedomāties, jo tik liels cilvēku daudzums tur augšā...tas noteikti nav uz labu. Un kāds tad prieks dzīvot mūžīgā laimē, ja nav likstu, kas dzīvi padara krāsaināku un laimes mirkļus neaizmirstamākus.

Nozēlojami, ka tik maz cilvēku, joprojām atzīst Chuck Norris dievišķo dabu, un neizvēlas sekot viņa mācībai, te būs 100 fakti par manu un daudzu citu pielūgsmes objektu, kas jūs noteikti pārliecinās.



01) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

02) Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

03) Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

04) If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

06) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

07) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

08) Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

09) Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now the Islands.
10) Chuck Norris can speak braille.

11) Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

12) Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Chuck Norris is watching.

13) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

14) A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

15) If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f uck down.

16) Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

17) Chuck Norris doesn't tea-bag, he potato-sacks.

18) Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

19) Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
20) If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

21) When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

22) Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.

23) At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.

24) Chuck Norris gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more.

25) The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

26) Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

27) Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice!

28) When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.

29) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

30) Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

31) Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the f uck he wants.

32) Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

33) Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

34) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once ate a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

35) Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him.

36) Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

37) Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

38) Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

39) They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

40) A man once attempted to give Chuck Norris a hug. Chuck proceeded to kick the crap out of the man. Chuck Norris' father was confined to a wheelchair from that day on.

41) Microsoft has released a new Anti-virus removal tool called Chuck Norris. The tool dares the virus to enter the machine.

42) Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

43) In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.

44) Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the $hit out of little kids.

45) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

46) God created heaven and earth, he then created man. Man overpopulated the earth, so, God created Chuck Norris.

47) Chuck Norris once took part in a Civil War reenactment. It was the bloodiest day in American history.

48) The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

49) The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

50) Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the f uck Chuck Norris is.

51) We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

52) Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

53) Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the f uck off.

54) Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the $hit out of them.

55) Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

56) piu Cheney's hunting trip wasn't an accident. He was playing catch-the-bird-shot with Chuck Norris, but Chuck just likes to use lawyers as gloves.
57) The first lunar eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.

58) The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

59) Chuck Norris thought Arnold's movie "Commando" was lacking in senseless killings.

60) Every dinosaur skull ever found has the imprint of a size 15 cowboy boot on its jaw. Scientists are baffled, but we know damn well why.

61) There are currently 5 viruses in population that could eradicate the worlds' population in less than a week. They are lying low because Chuck Norris does not like competition.

62) Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f ucking Indian.

63) Before he visits anywhere, international law dictates that Chuck Norris must inform the area's inhabitants at least seven days before his arrival. The necessary funeral arrangements can then be made.

64) When asked why he round-house kicked an entire school of children Chuck Norris replies "I don't like Mondays." When informed that it was Tuesday he replied "I still don't like Mondays."

65) Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

66) Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

67) Most men are OK with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

68) Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

69) Women never say no to Chuck Norris. Even if they don't want to, they know its eventually gonna happen.

70) Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

71) During a prostate exam, Chuck Norris' doctor found 3 severed, gloved index fingers in his rectum. When the doctor asked what the last 3 doctors had done to earn their fate, Chuck Norris explained that they all said "You're not so tough now are you?"

72) Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

73) Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.

74) Chuck Norris owns 3 pit bulls and 2 dobermans, yet if you go near his property the only sign you see is "Beware of Chuck Norris".

75) Heart disease may be the new leading cause of death in women age 45 to 65, but Chuck Norris is still the leading cause of death in men age 0 to 125.
76) We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

77) Navy SEALS utilize the training regimen Chuck Norris used in middle school.
78) Chuck Norris once won the Gold, Silver and Bronze in the Women's Bobsled. No one ever questioned how he did it.

79) As a poor college student, Chuck Norris went to the local sperm bank to make some quick cash. He retired later that day.

80) Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

81) Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

82) Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas.

83) Chuck Norris can open beer cans with his teeth. He still prefers to use other people's teeth, though.

84) "I wear sunglasses at night cause the sun never sets on a badass". This was Chuck Norris' answer when someone asked what his favorite color was.
85) You may have given your girlfriend a diamond necklace for Christmas, but Chuck Norris gave her a pearl one last night.

86) Chuck Norris' mother called him "Charles" once. Once.

87) Chuck Norris's friends once threw him a surprise birthday party. Unfortunately, when Chuck Norris unexpectedly saw all those people in his house, his mind involuntarily went into "defense/kill" mode. Chuck Norris lost many dear friends that day.

88) Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

89) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

90) Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

91) Chuck Norris went to a fortune teller once. She predicted pain.

92) Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick the bedroom light off and get under the covers before the room turns dark.

93) Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

94) Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick with his left leg and his right leg. At the same time.

95) If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

96) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

97) A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

98) Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

99) Chuck Norris went as Chuck Norris for Halloween. He got twice as much candy as anybody.

100) Not only does Chuck Norris talk in the third-person, he sees in the third-person.

Starp citu - nesen Čaks Noriss esot uzzinājis par šī saita eksistenci un viņa dievišķo dabu. Esot gardi un ilgi smējies

/me pārbaudīja 25. punktu, bet joprojām ir tepat, tātad Haruhi ir varenāka par Čaku.

Personīgi es pats neskaitos īsti ateists, taču neticu Kristietībai un Bībelei. Augstākiem spēkiem es ticu gan, bet vairāk to uztveru kā lielo kārtību, kosmisko enerģiju. Nepiederu ne pie kādas reliģijas.